d e c l i n e s.

your constant declines can't break what has already been broken
but they do help me face towards the sun
and never look back at you again.

there will be places whose gates won't open for me,
people who will never understand what my jokes mean,
and that's alright.

it depends on a looooong list of reasons why I'm rejected from anything I applied to.
and I won't lie when I share that I felt bad including every emotion that helped doubt myself.
even if I kept on telling myself that this will pass, it only felt like words with no assurance.
I knew this would be long gone but didn't believe.
and how would I, when the present was full of gloomy clouds and sad songs?

but the interesting thing about being inside the dark phase,
sometimes it's the same reasons that got you there, help you get out.
it's like a person who pushed you into a dark room and locked you
and came back after a while to unlock it.

rejections remind me of my parents who restrict me to do things that they fear might hurt me.
just a difference in the real world,
we aren't warned so directly and neither do we land on cushions when we fall.

with every lesson on the way while being rejected,
it's true that I will still be a mess for anything that will decline to observe the patterns that I'm built with
but this won't stop me from creating more of the patterns for myself
because I might be a mess for you and I can't do anything about it,
but I'm all I've got for myself and I can do everything I can for it.

so, here's to the declines that we've faced to be here
and here's to the more on the way to be somewhere we're destined.